Keep Hold Read online

  An odd silence prevailed as everyone looked at everyone else. Murray let out an audible sigh, and Claire quickly caught a glimpse of Jess smiling at Alex before she turned her attention to Kathryn. “Thank you for doing that just now.”

  Kathryn had tears in her eyes. “Can Claire and I have a moment, please?”

  Jess, Alex, and Murray all patted Claire on the shoulder before leaving, and Jess kissed Kathryn on the cheek.

  “Are you okay?” asked Kathryn when Murray closed the door behind her.

  Claire nodded. “Please don’t ask me about what happened at that place right now.”

  Kathryn nodded.

  “Later, okay, when it’s just me and you?”

  “Of course, honey.”

  “I’m glad you’re here,” said Claire.

  “I’ve been such an idiot.”

  “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

  “And so was Victoria. I’ve been worried all day because I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see her or not, then she tells me she’s been here all week.”

  Claire cocked her head and winked. “That’s my girl. Full of shit to the brim.”

  “But she’s not your girl now.”

  “Well, no, this is true. I’m kind of hoping that after tonight I’ll have a new girl. How do you rate my chances?” She reached for Kathryn’s hand.

  Kathryn kneeled before her and rested her hand on Claire’s knees. The wheelchair began to move backward, and Kathryn lost balance, pushing Claire into the examination table and knocking a tray of clean instruments onto the floor with a clangour. Claire shot her hands up to cover her head, but nothing else came crashing down. Her nerves felt like they were dangling by a thread. She held it together.

  The door swung open and the others rushed through the door.

  Claire raised her arms. “It’s okay. Bloody Murray forgot to put the brakes on.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “Have you finished your special moment?” asked Alex.

  “Not quite, just another couple of minutes please.”

  They filed out again.

  “Where were we?” Kathryn knelt again.

  “You were about to tell me that you’re my girl.”

  “Oh, yeah. That’s right.” Kathryn’s expression turned serious. “I want you to know, though, that I came to the conclusion I wanted to be with you before this happened. You can ask Jess if you don’t believe me.”

  “I believe you.”

  Kathryn sighed. “Of course you do.” She rested her head in Claire’s lap.

  Claire instinctively ran her finger through her hair and gently massaged the tense muscles in her neck. “Kathryn, look at me.”

  Kathryn lifted her head. Claire leaned forward until their foreheads met. She let the tears out. “You’ve made a disastrous day into a wonderful day.” Claire felt like a time bomb ready to explode, but she feared losing control if she let out her pain now. “Can you please kiss me and then take me home?”

  Kathryn pressed her lips gently to Claire’s. If Claire thought they shared chemistry before, it was nothing like now. She opened her mouth and felt Kathryn’s tongue gently caress her lower lip. The contact was exquisite and surpassed any painkilling drug received that evening. There was no need to hide and there was nothing stopping them being together. The kiss felt pure and it was all the antidote Claire needed after a truly rotten day.

  “Come on then,” Kathryn said. “Let’s get you home and to bed.”

  Claire raised her eyebrows. “You don’t waste any time.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that.” Kathryn’s eyes widened, horrified.

  “Oh, so you don’t want to sleep with me?”

  “No. Yes of course, but no.” Kathryn was stammering.

  “I’m kidding.”

  “I’ll get used to your sense of humour, won’t I?”

  Claire just grinned. She hoped Kathryn would come to know her inside and out, but she hoped they’d never tire of each other.

  In the car park, Claire used Kathryn for support as she lowered herself gently into the passenger seat.

  “I feel like I could sleep for a week,” she said.

  “See that you do,” said Murray. “You’ll need all the energy you can get for therapy.”

  “I was wondering who would mention that first.” Claire sighed.

  “I’ve got one word, Paddy, PTSD.”

  “That’s not a word, Doctor; it’s an acronym.”

  “And you’re still a smart-arse, so that’s a good sign.”

  “He didn’t mean to hurt me, but I concede I’ll be back in Jean’s office. Don’t worry.”

  “Damn straight,” said Murray. “And the quicker the better.”

  Claire rested her head against the seat. It felt so good to be going home. “So, what’s for dinner?”

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Although it was amazing that she and Claire were finally together, nothing could change the fact that Claire and Alex had been involved in a terrifying experience. Jess had taken Alex to bed immediately, taking toast and a cup of tea with them.

  Kathryn was sleeping in Claire’s room. She hadn’t asked permission, but there was no way Claire should be alone.

  She heard the shower running. It had been nearly ten minutes now. She changed the bed sheets and slipped under the covers. She surveyed the room. A solitary candle was burning on the windowsill, and a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich sat on the bedside table with a coffee. She’d taken a large T-shirt from Claire’s drawer and placed it on the pillow. She knew Claire usually slept naked but wondered if, this evening, that would leave her feeling vulnerable.

  Another five minutes passed before Claire padded in, a towel wrapped around her and her eyes puffy and bloodshot from crying. Claire dropped the towel and struggled to raise her arm high enough to dress herself.

  Kathryn leapt out of bed. “Here, let me help you with that. You’re not completely dry. Can I?” She held the towel aloft and waited for Claire’s nodded consent. Kathryn tenderly dried Claire’s back, stomach, chest, and arms. Claire sobbed silently.

  Kathryn gently dressed her in the T-shirt then hopped into bed. “Come on,” she said, holding the covers back. “You’re safe now.” Claire gingerly lowered herself onto the soft sheets. Kathryn handed her more painkillers and the coffee. Claire ate half the sandwich before Kathryn switched off the light.

  “Would you like me to hold you?” asked Kathryn.

  “Yes, please.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” said Kathryn, shifting closer. “Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

  Claire remained on her back while Kathryn drew her close, resting a protective arm around her shoulders. Unsure of what to do with her other hand, she let it fall on her own waist until Claire searched for it and entwined their fingers, drawing both hands up to her chest and under her chin.

  When the sobbing subsided, she felt Claire’s body relax into hers. “Tonight was terrible. I just want to forget about it.”

  Kathryn softly kissed her hair, savouring the fresh apple scent of shampoo, and invited her to sleep. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll hold you as long as you need me.”

  Claire mumbled her thanks, moments from slumber, as she snuggled deeper into Kathryn’s protective embrace.

  Epilogue

  It was difficult for Claire to remember life before Kathryn. She knew it existed of course, and at particular moments—often fleeting—certain smells, words, and places would spark a pang of pain that reminded her Victoria had certainly existed in her past life. Sometimes at work, a patient might possess similarities to Maree Black, or she might detect a waft of the distinct reek of cheap aftershave the boy in the bottle shop had worn, but overall, it was Kathryn who existed for her now.

  Life felt remarkable. Sure, it had been good in the past, but with Kathryn, Claire felt complete, and the world was brimming with opportunities.

  Her recovery after the incident had been speedy
. A couple of weeks off for her wound to heal, followed by another four on light duties. Now she was back in full flight.

  The dynamic in the house had changed, too. Alex and Jess graciously stepped aside while Claire became the focus of Kathryn’s life. The transition from one couple to two was smooth, but it had a limited shelf life.

  “My settlement should be through any day now.” It was late on a Friday evening and Kathryn returned naked from Claire’s old room, which they had long since turned into their walk-in wardrobe.

  Claire was in bed, busily tapping away on their iPad. Jess was due in four weeks and it was critical they find a place of their own.

  “What are you doing?” asked Kathryn.

  “I’m looking at rentals. This place will be hell when the babies arrive.”

  “Oh, I don’t know, I kind of liked the idea of helping out with the babies.”

  Claire glared at her. “It’s not the babies that worry me; it’s Jess.”

  “Good point.”

  The evenings were cool, and Kathryn slipped under the doona keenly eyeing some of the properties Claire was perusing. “Can I borrow the iPad for a moment?”

  “Sure. I need a bathroom break anyway.” Claire raced down the hall to the bathroom. The scar on her side tingled. She lifted her T-shirt and gently rubbed a finger over it to calm whatever it was sparking the nerves into action. She liked the scar. It signified the day Victoria disappeared from her life, the day Kathryn came into it, and the day she realised she wasn’t immortal. From that day on, she had vowed to live the life she wanted to live, not just settle for second best. She returned to bed and stole a glance at Kathryn. She smiled.

  “Can I show you something?” Kathryn handed her the iPad.

  On the screen was a lovely house with a handsome porch and charming front garden. “Ha, see. I knew you’d catch the real estate bug sooner rather than later.” Claire kissed Kathryn’s cheek. “How much?”

  “Eight hundred thousand.”

  Claire whistled. “That’s a lot. Where is it?” Disappointment washed over her. She couldn’t even begin to think of what kind of repayments would come with a mortgage on that sort of property.

  “It’s just the other side of that park you run to.”

  Claire knew it would be brilliant to live so close to Jess and Alex, but the prices of property were high. Travel another thirty minutes into suburbia and they would be half that. Living in the same suburb as Jess and Alex was an impossible dream.

  “Maybe we need to work out how much we can afford.” Claire felt deflated. Her head dropped. “I barely have a savings account, baby. I don’t have anything,” she quietly added.

  “I went and took a look at it after work today.” Kathryn sat up, squarely facing Claire. “It’s a beautiful house. Do you like it? At first glance?”

  Claire clicked on the slideshow and stared in awe at the fully refurbished home—quaint and leafy on the outside, modern and light on the inside. “It’s stunning. Is this the type of place you’d like?”

  “It’s the type of place I’d like to buy for us to live in.”

  “What?” Claire was only just beginning to understand what Kathryn was implying.

  “My house in Brisbane is sold. It will settle any day now.”

  “You can afford this house?” Claire was amazed.

  “Yes, I believe so. We’ll need a mortgage, but not substantial. We can afford the repayments. I’m an accountant; I’ve already crunched the numbers.” Kathryn looked decidedly pleased with herself.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Just say you’d like to come and take a look at it tomorrow first thing.”

  “Of course, I’d love to.”

  Kathryn cupped her chin. “Things moving too fast, baby?”

  “No. I just feel like a bit of a freeloader, I suppose.”

  “You’ll love the house. I promise.”

  “As much as I love you?”

  Kathryn kissed her gently. “Don’t get carried away. It’s only a house.”

  Claire kissed her deeply. “You’re amazing,” she said. “And with a house like that, what a catch.”

  Kathryn pinched her backside. “So now you only love me because of my money?”

  Claire had no idea her property in Brisbane had been worth so much. “I like having a rich girlfriend.”

  “I’m hardly rich.”

  “But you are my girlfriend.”

  “Yes, and you’re mine. All mine.” Kathryn kissed her. “You are okay about no longer being footloose and fancy free, right?” Kathryn lowered her voice. “Because I don’t like sharing my things.”

  Claire experienced sensory overload as Kathryn’s lips connected with hers again, her tongue gently forcing its way deep into Claire’s mouth. Claire was alive with a million sensations of love, want, desire, and passion. Never in her life had she experienced such a physical reaction to a psychological need. She felt moisture between her legs and an aching grip of desire clenched tightly in her lower abdomen.

  “I want you to be mine. I want you to belong to me. And what I really want tonight is to make love to you,” murmured Kathryn between kisses.

  Hearing those words, knowing that Kathryn wanted her and was on the verge of taking her, exhilarated Claire.

  “Close your eyes, baby.” Kathryn smiled as Claire frowned. “Just for the first time, close your eyes and feel me make love to you.”

  Claire was deliriously aroused, and with this new Kathryn, the one that was so capably seducing her, she found herself entirely at her mercy. She closed her eyes as Kathryn’s warm and supple lips kissed near her scar.

  “I just want you to relax and enjoy.” Kathryn slowly parted Claire’s legs.

  Convinced she was in the gentlest of hands, Claire visibly let go, sinking further into the mattress.

  The subsequent sensation caused Claire to jolt. Kathryn’s tongue scarcely touched her clit, but her response was instant and intense. Then she let out a desperate moan and squirmed involuntarily as she felt Kathryn’s insistent tongue.

  Claire fought to hold back the orgasm that was building at an alarming rate. “Please make it quick, baby.”

  Kathryn moved her tongue back to Claire’s clit and slowly pushed two fingers deep inside her.

  “Oh, God.” Claire couldn’t remember ever feeling anything quite so exquisite. She longed for satisfaction.

  Kathryn began a long, deep rhythm. She angled her fingers to ensure every thrust stroked Claire’s G-spot, bringing Claire to the edge in seconds. The more Claire wanted, the more Kathryn gave her. “Come for me, baby.”

  Claire writhed. She was so close to the edge.

  She pumped harder. “Let it out, Claire.”

  Forgetting where they were, Claire let out a cry before Kathryn quickly clasped her hand over her mouth. Gently, as Claire’s body shuddered through her orgasm, Kathryn replaced her hand with her mouth, kissing Claire with unbridled affection. Her fingers remained inside.

  “I think I’ve waited for you all my life,” Claire quietly gasped as Kathryn moved to hold her close and kiss her forehead.

  “You’ve waited for a suppressed lesbian all your life?”

  “No, smart-arse.” Claire eyed her. “I’ve waited for someone to make me feel like this.”

  Kathryn choked back tears. “How do I make you feel?”

  “Complete. You complete me. It’s the most remarkable feeling that I never knew was missing until I found it. Found you.”

  Kathryn looked pleased with herself.

  “I would never have believed in a million years I could orgasm like that,” said Claire.

  “What?” Kathryn tilted Claire’s chin so their eyes met. “Never like tonight?”

  “No, baby.” Claire smiled bright and wide. “It’s the sum of us that makes it all so spectacular. It’s not experience, not notches on the bedpost, not a shit marriage, nothing like that. It’s just us—uncomplicated and pure.”

  “It sounds
so simple when you put it like that.”

  “It is that simple, trust me. This type of feeling doesn’t happen every day, straight or gay.”

  Kathryn smiled. “I still can’t believe you’re here every morning when I wake.”

  After many long minutes enjoying gentle kisses and the sheer closeness of their bodies, Kathryn went to remove her fingers.

  “Don’t, not yet.” Claire couldn’t bear to have Kathryn leave her so soon.

  Kathryn grinned wickedly, pulsing the tips of her fingers against Claire’s G-spot.

  Claire closed her eyes again, basking in sweet sensations as they flooded back through her even stronger than before.

  “Is that what you want, baby?” Kathryn moved her mouth to whisper in Claire’s ear. “Do you want to be a good girl for me again?”

  Claire couldn’t speak.

  “Like this?” Kathryn used her thumb on the outside for added stimulation.

  “God, yes. Exactly like that.”

  Kathryn took a nipple in her mouth. “I adore every part of you, Claire. I want to make you feel like this forever. I want to feel this way forever.”

  Kathryn increased the speed of her probing fingers and kissed her, hard and passionately, muffling Claire’s moaning. Claire came, stronger and more intensely than before.

  *

  “Where’s the damn keys?” screeched Claire.

  Kathryn looked at the tidy space around her. She’d left Claire to unpack the living room boxes while she concentrated on the bedroom. The bedroom was spotless while the living room still looked like a bomb of packing paper and boxes had exploded. Moving with Claire had certainly been an experience. She wondered how Claire could be a nurse; she was distracted so easily and was so damn messy.

  “Kathryn!”

  Grinning because she knew precisely where the keys were and because she knew Claire only used her full name if there was a spider or if Claire was frustrated to the point of uselessness, Kathryn swiftly locked the back door and hurried to put Claire out of her misery.

  Kathryn stepped aside to dodge flying bubble wrap before pressing the palm of her hand firmly, but lovingly, in the middle of Claire’s chest. “Calm down.” She patted Claire’s bulging left jean pocket. “The keys are here, baby.”