Keep Hold Page 20

  Claire frowned. “Maybe, sure.”

  “Oh, by the way, how many times have you forgotten it’s Saturday and not slept in?” asked Kathryn.

  “A few. But nothing beats the time I showed up to work when I wasn’t even rostered on. See you later.” Claire disappeared.

  Kathryn heard a beep and saw Claire’s phone by the sink. “You forgot your phone,” she called.

  “Damn that thing.” Claire ran back to fetch it. She looked at the screen. “Holy shit.”

  “What is it?”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “What’s wrong, Claire?”

  “Victoria’s thinking of coming back.”

  “For good?” Kathryn’s heart flipped inside out and her coffee threatened to resurface.

  “I’m not sure. It just says she wants to see me.”

  “Do you want to see her?”

  Claire’s silence was all the indication Kathryn needed.

  “I gotta go. I’m late.”

  Kathryn didn’t want her to leave. “Claire, stay and talk about it.”

  Claire was already out the door.

  Kathryn tipped her half finished coffee down the sink. She couldn’t understand why Claire would even entertain the thought of seeing Victoria. What was Victoria playing at? She didn’t know her personally of course, but Jess and Alex did and they were more than a little disappointed in the way she treated Claire.

  Kathryn rushed to the front of the house to stop Claire, but there was no sign of her. Shit! She paced the length of the hall. Her heartbeat gained momentum and sweat dampened her armpits. She wasn’t sure if it was fear or panic, but she at least had the smarts to recognise that it wasn’t only worry regarding Victoria’s possible return, it was jealousy. As she sat on the edge of her bed with her head between her knees, she realised she was shit scared of losing Claire.

  It occurred to her that you couldn’t lose someone you didn’t have, and that was Kathryn’s light bulb moment. She’d only ever experienced one other moment like this, and that was when she realised Andy needed to stay out of her life forever. As far as second light bulb moments went, she felt underprepared.

  She wanted Claire and needed her. Great timing, Kathryn. How the hell was she going to tell Claire her feelings were reciprocated, if that was what she decided to do, with the threat of Victoria’s return looming?

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Claire pulled into the car park and read the message again. If it weren’t for the fact that she liked her phone and that it was not the phone’s fault Victoria had messaged, she’d have thrown it under a semi trailer on the way in.

  She’d composed at least one hundred replies, all unsuitable and all beginning with the line, “If by chance you don’t have a single vehicle accident on the way to the airport…” Months ago, she may have wanted to see Victoria, if for no other reason than to tell her how deplorable her behaviour was, but now she liked not thinking about her. One bloody text message and she was consuming her mind.

  Murray tapped on her window. “You glued your arse to the seat, Paddy?”

  It scared the daylights out of her and she ran to catch up. “Read this.”

  Murray took the phone without breaking stride. “You’re showing me a message about buying milk on the way home.”

  Claire snatched the phone back. “Not that one, this one.”

  She stopped dead. “Is she fucking serious?”

  “I’ve no idea.”

  “Just ignore it.” Murray marched on.

  “What and risk her just showing up?”

  “Yeah, fuck it. What do you care if she shows up? Let her waste the cash on the plane ticket if she’s stupid enough.” Murray stopped short of the entrance. “Nothing sends a clearer message than being ignored.”

  Claire wasn’t sure Victoria received those types of messages as loud and as clear as others might. She shoved her phone in her pocket vowing to think about it later.

  Later came sooner when Victoria messaged again. Tickets are a lot of money, Claire. Do you want to see me? x

  Murray laughed when she read it.

  “You’re not helping.”

  “Of course I’m helping,” she said. “This is what good friends do. We mock something like this so we can leave you in no doubt that your ex is a complete shithead.”

  Claire rolled her eyes and continued with her day.

  Two hours later, her phone beeped again. She reluctantly looked at it. I hope your day is going ok. I was wondering how you were doing after hearing from V? X Kathryn hadn’t messaged her in weeks. Not since the incident at the cinema. It was a nice gesture. Maybe Kathryn was finally coming out of whatever rock she’d been hiding under this last while.

  She replied, I’m ok. Thanks for checking on me. It’s nice of you to think of me. x

  Barely five minutes after she flushed a foreign object out of a carpenter’s eye, her phone beeped again. This time she was less surprised. It read: I can’t believe you’re ignoring me. I suppose it could be the shock, but give me a break here Claire. X.

  Murray leaned over her shoulder to read it. “Stay strong. She’ll give up soon.”

  “Which ex-girlfriend called Victoria are you remembering, Murray, because I’m quite sure she won’t just give up.”

  “Can I call her?” Murray snatched for the phone.

  “No. Don’t be daft.”

  “So, wait it out. I promise you she’ll give up.”

  Claire knew how persistent Victoria could be. She wanted to trust Murray’s judgement, but she knew Victoria best, surely. But then, she had walked out on Claire in the most unexpected fashion. Maybe she really didn’t know her at all. Her phone beeped again. Murray was successful in her snatch this time.

  “Whoa, that one is definitely for you and probably shouldn’t be ignored.”

  Claire read a message from Kathryn. I think about you often, but especially when I know you’re hurting. Call me if you need anything. Kx

  Murray had shot off toward her office and Claire followed.

  “No way, Claire. I’m staying out of this one,” said Murray when Claire caught up.

  “You gotta help me with this. I’m going mad.”

  Murray looked her in the eye before opening the office door and ushering Claire in. “What’s going on?”

  “I think Kathryn’s gay.”

  “Gay for real, or just flirting with the gay girl kind of gay? Big difference, Paddy.”

  “She’s gay.”

  Murray gave her the “say no more” look.

  “I like her.”

  “You liked her sister years ago, too.”

  “That’s true.”

  “Does she like you?”

  “She likes what I do to her.”

  “Jesus, Paddy, is that all you ever think about?”

  Claire picked a spot on the floor to focus on. “I think she likes me, but I think she’s scared.”

  “Of Jess or the fact that she’s banged her prize ex-girlfriend?”

  Claire’s eyes shot up. “Am I Jess’s best ex?”

  Murray threw a prescription pad at her. “I can’t see how the title fits, but yes, I believe so.”

  “Seriously, Murray, I can deal with the Victoria stuff, it’s not a problem really, but what should I do with Kathryn? I really like her and I think she really likes me.” Claire explained the conversation at the cinema and how they’d both given each other space. “I can’t talk to Jess or Alex about this.”

  “It sounds like you made it pretty clear you would let her work it out. How long that takes is up to her. Perhaps talk to her tonight and tell her there’s nothing to worry about with Victoria. I think that’s a good start. I can’t see how you can move forward unless she makes the first move though, Paddy.”

  Murray was right, of course. Bloody woman was always right. Claire agreed and was about to leave when her phone beeped again. The message from Victoria read. Look, you win. I’m already in Australia. Been here since
last week. I had to come back because of my fucking visa. I’m getting a different one. Can we meet up or not?

  Claire allowed Murray to take the phone this time. After a few taps, she passed it back with a message on the screen. All she had to do was press send. It read. Please stop contacting me, Victoria. I don’t want to see you. We have nothing to say to each other. Good-bye.

  Claire pressed send. Murray squeezed her shoulder and she switched off her phone and returned it to her locker.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  With four women in the house and all great cooks, it was rare to eat takeaway, and even rarer to consider it on a weeknight. Most kids Kathryn’s age grew up with parents who might consider fish and chips on a Friday or Saturday night, but even then it wasn’t a regular thing. In those days, it was the cheapest takeaway and their local shop had the best chips in Australia, according to her dad.

  Tonight was one of those nights where the thought of cooking was akin to suggesting they all chop off their little finger, and besides Jess, every one of them moaned about their rotten day. Claire and Kathryn nearly knocked each other over trying to reach the fresh glasses of wine Alex poured.

  “How about Thai?” Kathryn sipped her drink wondering what Claire had decided to do about Victoria.

  “How about it indeed. I’m in,” Claire said.

  Alex fished around in the bottom drawer for a menu. “Claire and I will pick it up. You phone ahead.”

  No, no, no. Kathryn had wanted to talk to Claire before Victoria came back, assuming she was coming back, and suggesting takeaway seemed like the easiest way to spend time together alone. Shit! She really needed to know what Claire had replied to Victoria. She could ask her outright now, but it seemed so out of context when they were talking about dinner. Also, she wasn’t sure she was prepared if Victoria was coming to see Claire. She wasn’t sure she was prepared if she wasn’t. She was scared to jump either way and the crippling fear rendered her useless.

  “Claire and I will go, Alex. You stay at home and look after your wife.”

  Jess pulled her head out of her briefcase long enough to say, “Actually, Kathryn, I wanted to pick your brain on some accountancy stuff. I’m working on an embezzlement case, and I could do with a deeper understanding of what this bloke appears to have gotten up to.”

  In the end, Kathryn had to agree to stay with Jess. She calmed herself with the thought that she’d mention the topic of Victoria later. She vowed that by the end of the evening she would know what Claire felt, if anything, for Victoria.

  *

  “She did what?”

  Claire had just told Alex that Victoria had wanted to see her. She was relieved Alex wasn’t driving; they would have spun off the road by now.

  “I know. The cheek of her, right?”

  Alex sat reading the messages. “And she’s bloody well already here. She’s a piece of work, Claire. I know I try to be neutral in these instances, but you’re so much better off without her.”

  Claire appreciated the affirmation, but no longer needed it. She knew Victoria leaving was the best thing that could have happened; now she just wished she and Kathryn could work themselves out. Besides a message earlier that day, Kathryn had shown no signs of caring either way if Victoria returned or not. Even though Claire replied, the conversation seemed over. Of all the things that could have jolted Kathryn into action, surely the threat of the ex-lover returning should be at the top of the list.

  “How’s Kathryn these days?” asked Alex.

  Claire frowned.

  “Oh, I know I could ask her myself, but we kind of have an unspoken agreement that I’ll stay out of her love life.”

  “She’s not seeing Tony anymore, you knew that?”

  Alex nodded. “I figured it all went pear shaped.”

  Claire felt awkward speaking about Kathryn behind her back. Especially concerning sensitive topics she knew Kathryn wouldn’t openly share. She kept it vague. “I think she might be confused.”

  “Oh, I see. So, it wasn’t just a passing phase?”

  Claire couldn’t stop now she’d begun. “I think Tony was a lovely bloke, on the whole.”

  “But he just wasn’t enough?”

  “No. I don’t think so.”

  “And perhaps you’re enough but she doesn’t want to admit that.”

  Claire pulled up at the row of shops to collect dinner and more wine. She turned to Alex. “What would it mean if I was enough? If she admitted I was enough.”

  “If it’s that important and something happens between you, then you have to come clean and tell Jess.”

  Claire nodded. She knew that would be the answer. She just needed to hear it. Kathryn would struggle with telling Jess almost as much as she was struggling with her sexuality. “Come on. Wine shopping then dinner?”

  “Sounds perfect to me.”

  Claire branched off in one direction searching for red, while Alex perused the white. She always ended up buying the same wine, but liked the process of looking before selecting. Time management wasn’t one of Claire’s most outstanding qualities while shopping.

  After selecting her favourite bottle, she became distracted in the spirit section and saw ouzo on the shelf. Although packing up her house had been difficult, she remembered how Kathryn had made her feel during her ouzo induced bout of self-pity. It had been the first time she’d felt anything real since Victoria had left and the dreams had begun. The significance of the day made her smile.

  She grabbed a bottle from the shelf on a whim and was walking quickly toward the checkout when a thick tattooed arm clamped around her neck.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Jess was talking, a lot, but Kathryn couldn’t focus. She didn’t care that a well known insurance executive had forged signatures and had effectively raised invoices for works not undertaken, nor requested, to the tune of six million dollars. She found herself discussing standard practices, and she drew a flowchart to demonstrate the movement of funds, but ultimately, she just wanted Claire to come home.

  If Victoria was returning to Australia, she needed to make her move first.

  “There’s more to it, I know there is.” Jess removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “Ivan can’t find the proof, that’s all.”

  Ivan was the detective on the case. Another useless snippet of information Kathryn didn’t want to know.

  “Do you think Claire will want Victoria back?” It was out of the blue, she knew that, but she couldn’t hold it in a moment longer.

  “What? Are you mad? She’s well rid of her.”

  She’d put her foot in it. “She messaged Claire today asking if she could come and see her.”

  “Fucking hell.” Jess shut her folder. Six million dollar embezzlement apparently had nothing on Claire’s private life. “What did Claire say?”

  “I’ve no idea. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her.”

  “What exactly did the message say?”

  Kathryn relayed the message as best she could remember.

  “She wants to fly halfway round the world to see Claire?” Jess whistled. “Is she insane?”

  Kathryn could only think of Victoria as a bitch. Insane wasn’t nearly harsh enough for the way she treated Claire.

  “She must want her back.”

  Kathryn cringed at the thought. “Claire wouldn’t have her back now, surely?”

  Jess laughed. “No way. A while ago I thought she was seeing someone else. It was the happiest I’d seen her in ages. You know, a bit of a spring in her step and all.”

  Kathryn felt her chest deflate.

  “But it must have fizzled out because no one’s been around. I don’t mean to sound crude, but I hope she had some good old-fashioned sexy fun before it ended. I think she needed something after Victoria.”

  Kathryn felt like her brain had been replaced with an expanding lump of goo representing guilt. “It was me.” She blurted the words before she could think twice. She experienced a brief moment of relief be
fore panic set in.

  “What?”

  “I’m so sorry, Jess. It was me.”

  “What?”

  “I slept with Claire.”

  “You’re straight!”

  “Not so much. Apparently.”

  “You had sex with Claire?”

  Kathryn nodded.

  “The same Claire I used to have sex with?”

  She nodded again.

  “Holy Jesus.” Jess paced the kitchen. “There are certain rules that should never be broken, Kathryn, and you’ve just broken all of them.” Jess was livid. “How could you after you accused me of sleeping with her? Honestly, Kathryn, how did you think this would pan out?”

  “I wasn’t thinking. We’d had a bit to drink. It was silly the first time, but—”

  “The first time? How many times have there been?”

  “Just twice.” Kathryn could feel the onset of tears. She didn’t want to hurt Jess, but she didn’t want to lose her chance with Claire either.

  “Twice? Two separate instances and not once did you think the respectable thing to do was tell me?”

  Kathryn stood eye to eye with Jess. “She’s not yours anymore.”

  Jess stopped dead and inhaled deeply. “No. She’s not mine.” She poured a glass of water for herself and the remainder of the wine for Kathryn. “Does she feel the same about you?”

  “I’ve treated her badly. I pushed her away. She used to want me. I don’t know if that’s the case anymore.” Kathryn recounted the series of events for Jess right from the beginning.

  “And here we are.” Jess shook her head. “You’ve made a right mess of this. She might want you, but we don’t know. You want her, but she doesn’t know, and bloody Victoria is probably on her way to fuck it all up as we speak.” Jess reached for Kathryn’s hand. “We’ll get it all sorted tonight, okay?”

  Kathryn nodded.

  “So you think you’re a lesbian now?”

  “I don’t know. I really liked Tony.”

  “Was that his name?”

  Kathryn realised she’d never spoken of Tony to Jess. That in itself spoke volumes. “He was a nice man, but he wasn’t Claire. There was something missing with Tony that was never missing with Claire. When I was with him, I was with a really lovely man. When I’m with Claire, though, it’s as if I’m with my soul mate. Does that make sense?”